


Two Hearts

by JAlexMac



Series: Music Inspiration [4]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Feelings Realization, Heartbreak, Inspired by Music, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29480874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JAlexMac/pseuds/JAlexMac
Summary: Chakotay realizes his mistake.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Seven of Nine
Series: Music Inspiration [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2165427
Comments: 11
Kudos: 34





	Two Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by PJ Morton’s song Two Hearts.
> 
> Lyrics included in story.
> 
> Thanks to Bizarra for the incredible beta!
> 
> I own nothing, and play with everything.

**_I've got two hearts in my hand_ **

**_What should I do?_ **

**_I have to put one heart down_ **

**_So I can have one hand free_ **

**_So I can love totally_ **

Chakotay dragged himself across the threshold of his temporary Starfleet housing. Stopping only long enough to pour himself a deep glass of scotch, he loosened his bow tie and slumped down onto the sofa. The night hadn’t gone at all as he expected, and his mind was whirling. 

After all the debriefings, interrogations, and separations, he and his entire  _ Voyager  _ family were looking very much forward to a night of simple fun. He arrived with Seven on his arm, much to the chagrin of his comrades. They were both dressed to the nines, he in his fitted black tuxedo and she in her tight red mini dress. 

The room fell nearly silent as they entered. Chakotay knew his new relationship wasn’t highly favored, but the feeling of tension that surrounded him was overwhelming at best. Luckily for him, as they began to mingle, attention was taken from them as the newly promoted Admiral Janeway appeared on the arm of a handsome mystery civilian. 

She looked positively radiant in a dark blue satin ball gown that was fitted in all the right places. They hadn’t spoken of anything but business since their arrival back in the Alpha Quadrant, and he had no idea what to say to her even on an evening such as this.

**_I've got two hearts in my hand_ **

**_Too much to choose_ **

**_But in this game there is no tie_ **

**_It's no fun, but one has to lose_ **

**_No one leaves unbruised_ **

As the night went on with drinking and dancing; the entire crew heartily celebrated their return to their former and new lives. Seven had left Chakotay’s side long ago in favor of conversing in a dark corner with The Doctor. It still pained him how uncomfortable she was in a group setting. His favorite things in life involved being surrounded by the people he loved. 

Making his way out onto the open air balcony, he leaned his palms against the stone railing, and breathed a deep sigh. He couldn’t help but think of Kathryn. How he’d given up on her, and the moment he did they were home. How he’d missed out on so much, but now had Seven in his life. 

**_See, I have got two hearts, one too many_ **

**_I have got two hearts, two is plenty_ **

**_But something's gotta get done_ **

**_Gotta get back to one_ **

**_But I just don't know where to start_ **

**_With these two hearts_ **

**_These two hearts_ **

Lost in thought, he hadn’t heard the click of her heels as she approached. She could see the pensive frown that wrinkled his tattoo, so she kept her distance and spoke softly, so as not to startle him.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Her lips curled in a lopsided smile.

“Kathryn.” His voice was but a whisper.

“How are you, my friend?” 

“I… I’m not sure.” He stumbled. “How are you?”

“A little overwhelmed, but happy to be with all of you.”

Just as she finished her sentence, Seven appeared in the doorway. “Admiral.” She nodded. “Chakotay, our presence has been requested with Admiral Santos.” 

“I’ll be right in.” He never turned in Seven’s direction. 

**_I've got two hearts, unfortunately_ **

**_It happened this way_ **

**_And there's a fork in the road_ **

**_I'm tryna choose which way to go_ **

**_But I just don't know_ **

Kathryn could feel Chakotay’s struggle as he spoke. She moved closer, pulling his arm to turn him to face her. He found her eyes quickly, and almost flinched at the pity he saw there. Examining every inch of her face, he didn’t realize the time that went by as he memorized her.

“Chakotay, you know I’m always here if you need me.” She smiled.

His heart nearly leapt from his chest. “Kathryn I…Thank you.”

“What else are friends for? I am still your friend, right?”

“Absolutely, I just wasn’t sure you would want to be.”

“There will never be a time that I won’t.” Her eyes grew serious. She lifted a palm to his cheek.

He leaned into her touch. “God, what would I have ever done without you?” 

“You wouldn’t have had the grand tour of the Delta Quadrant, I’m fairly certain.” 

“I wouldn’t change any of it for anything in the world.” He leaned in and encircled her in a warm embrace.

She sighed at the feel of his arms around her, but knew she had to let go, before she couldn’t. When they separated, she leaned in and pecked him on the lips.

“I love you, Chakotay. Now go, before they send security to find you.”

“Love you too.”

“Be well my friend.” She squeezed his arm. “Your girl is lovely, now go be with her.”

She pushed him, and he turned for the door. Before he entered, he turned back one last time to take in her beautiful face.

**_I've got two hearts_ **

**_Oh, doctor, please remedy this_ **

**_The hearts have grown much too large_ **

**_And soon they won't be able to fit_ **

**_I can't handle it_ **

The rest of the night barely registered in his mind, and that’s when he excused himself, telling Seven to keep having fun. Now here he was sitting on the couch, nursing a scotch, wondering where his life had gone off the rails. In truth, he knew what he wanted, but he was completely unsure how to come out with everyone unscathed. Just as he stood to take off his jacket, the door opened. 

“Chakotay, are you here?” Seven’s voice rang out.

“Yes Seven.”

He met her just as she entered the living room, and even with her minimal experience with emotion, she could clearly see his burden. 

“You look troubled.” She stated bluntly.

“I am troubled, Seven.” He sighed. “Come and sit, we need to talk.”

Sitting down on the sofa, he couldn’t help but wince at the straightness of her spine. The rigidity was representative of their relationship, and he faltered. 

“You seem hesitant.” 

“I’m not sure how to say what I need to say.” He shook his head.

“I assure you nothing you can say will cause me harm.”

“See that’s my problem. Do you feel anything for me, Seven?”

“I find you intriguing, attractive…” she started.

“Do you love me?”

“I find I have grown an attachment to you.”

His face reddened. “It’s a simple question, Seven. Do you love me?”

“I care for you.”

“Then there is my answer.” He stood, turning his back on her.

“I am sorry if this is unsatisfactory, Chakotay.”

“It’s not your fault. I should have anticipated this.”

“Perhaps, given time, that emotion will develop.”

“Or perhaps it may not.” He turned back to her. “I’m not sure this relationship is working, or will ever work.”

“Perhaps we should explore other options?”

“I think that would be best.”

“I understand. I’ll take my leave now.” She approached him, and simply reached out to touch his arm before turning and leaving. 

His chest clenched at the sound of the door closing behind her. He was never one to enter into a relationship lightly, but how had he made such a mess of things? Her reaction was not surprising to him in the least. Knowing exactly what he needed, he pulled the loose bow tie from around his neck, took down his last swallow of scotch and left the apartment.

**_But something's gotta get done_ **

**_Gotta get back to one_ **

**_But I just don't know where to start_ **

**_With these two hearts_ **

Arriving quickly at her door, just two floors down, he hesitated before ringing the chime. Who was the man she was with tonight? What if she’s committed now? The questions ran through his mind like water through a sieve. He turned to walk away, when he heard the sound of laughter and heels clicking, as they moved toward him. His panic caused him to change directions quickly. Before he got one foot in front of the other, he heard the sound.

“Chakotay?” She called behind him.

Standing frozen, he hesitantly turned, afraid of what he would see when he did. He was pleasantly surprised and relieved to find that it was Kathryn, and only Kathryn, behind him.

“What are you doing here?” She smiled that alarming smile.

“I… I needed to speak to you. Where is your date?”

“Oh Rudy? He left the party for home a while ago. He’s the youngest son of some old friends of my parents.” 

“Really?” He asked unintentionally.

“Oh yeah, we’ve known each other since we were kids. Our parents always tried to get us together, but we never clicked as more than friends. Now he has a gorgeous husband.” Her chuckle rang through the hallway.

Chakotay couldn’t help but laugh with her, his more out of relief than humor. “Wow, okay.”

“Ugh. Why don’t you come in, I have got to get these heels off.” She motioned for him to follow, as she passed him and opened her door. 

He followed her like a hungry puppy, trying to find the words to tell her what he needed to say. Once inside the door, she tugged at her heels and tossed them across the room.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” She asked as she poured a drink for both of them.

His hesitation was evident. “Kathryn, I…”

She handed him a glass, and reached a hand to his arm trying to soothe him. “You seem upset. What’s wrong?”

The love in her words dissolved his incertitude and he lunged at her, claiming her lips. As their mouths met, warm and liquor tinged, he expected her to pull back. Instead, she pressed her body against his, and pushed her tongue between his lips. 

His body responded to her immediately, and he moaned against her mouth. Surprising himself, he was the one to release her. Before things moved a step further he had to ask her a question.

“Kathryn, I made a mistake.”

She frowned at him. “Then why did you come here?”

“Because being here is the resolution to my error.”

“I’m confused.” She tilted her head.

“I broke it off with Seven. I love you, Kathryn, and I can’t live another day without you.”

Her frown turned to a smile and her mouth fell open. Taking his glass, she set both down.

“Chakotay, I love you too. Enough that I was willing to let you be happy, even if it wasn’t with me. I had hoped, but never expected for a second that you would wait for me. Are you sure about this, after everything I put you through?”

“Never more sure of anything in my life. I want you, I need you, and I love you forever.”

Kathryn threw herself into his grasp, kissing him again. He lifted her off the ground, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. As he carried her towards her bedroom, he thanked the spirits for the angel in his arms. He was unsure how things would progress from here, but was absolutely grateful for the miracle of having figured out how to handle two hearts. 


End file.
